Date #1: The Blind Date
This was a blind date, so I really didn't know what to expect. He was an okay-looking guy, though. Short hair, nice smile, very thick glasses and an earring.
We met at a sports pub known for its barbeque, and although it was Monday Night Football time, the TV in front of us was inexplicably showing a sailing event. He had some kind of beer with lemon and I had a chardonnay.
He owns a cyber cafe, and from his description of the Yoda in-jokes, computer games, and overall stalled adolescence, his employees reminded me of the guys who worked in John Cusack's record store in High Fidelity.
He apologized for not picking me up, but explained that he can't drive because he is vision impaired. Really vision impaired.
Jesus. My blind date was actually blind.
That didn't stop him from telling me how four really gorgeous blonde girls walked in just before I did and how he told the bartender he was definitely going to come to this bar again.
I looked around and didn't see any girls, gorgeous blonde or otherwise, but I did see a pattern.
We talked about how people put up those Mylar balloons and tacky tchotchkes by the side of the road at accident sites and he mentioned the kitschy shrine outside a bar in his neighborhood where the voluptuous bartender is absolutely stunning.
He rhapsodized about how Amsterdam is like his second home and commented on the extraordinary beauty of the Dutch women.
My political correctness usurped my sense of self for about 40 minutes until I finally broke.
"How do you know all these women are so beautiful?" I asked. "You're blind."
"I'm not that blind" he said.
When I was ready to leave he asked me to wait with him because he wouldn't be able to see the huge, yellow taxi when it drove up. I'm sure if there were a gorgeous blonde driving it he'd be able to see it.
Despite his oddness, or maybe because of it, I had a lot of fun with him.
He is called Indentured Cats Guy because he has several cats and sometimes wishes that he could be lord of the manor, like in a gothic novel, and that someone else -- a servant of some sort -- would attend to the demanding cats and their needs.
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